Adventures aren’t without learning. In fact, adventures might be impossible without some degree of learning. But some adventures involve learning hard things, and addressing difficult topics. Teaching kids about civil rights and racism is one of the most worthwhile and difficult adventures you can have with your kids.
We visited Birmingham, Alabama in October 2013 as an extended family. I had a conference to attend and we decided to take the whole family + grandparents to Alabama. We live in Virginia (not NOVA, which as my neighbors will tell you is another state) and ‘Bama is a long ride from home. Long car rides, young kids, two great things…
Elsewhere we’ve written about things you can do to make trips more enjoyable for everyone, so we won’t go over that here. Honestly though, on the way to Birmingham the grandparents and their dvd equipped vehicle took the kiddos and let us have a couple of long days to ourselves. But the roadtrip part of the journey is not the point here; although I will say getting diesel in the Scandalwagon in Alabama proved surprisingly difficult. The main problem being that we stopped at several stations that had diesel, but only from pumps that were designed for semis with nozzles too large to fit the car.
So when and how do you raise the conversation of racism and our country’s troubled past with your kids? Clearly this is a topic that is informed by your experience, your race, and your view of the current state of things. For us it’s been an ongoing discussion with the boys from the time they began to notice physical differences. We don’t pretend to offer advice for your family, but for ours it has been well worth the awkward and difficult moments to have such meaningful conversations.
The grandparents, who had lived through the civil rights era, expressed some concern with our plan to visit the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute with our kindergartener. Having experienced some of the violence and unrest first-hand, as well as being very kindhearted people they were worried about their eldest grandchild experiencing such hard truths at so young an age. Their concerns were well-founded and came from a place of great care, but we thought that it was the right time to have this conversation.
We had several days in the area prior to our visit at the museum to help the kids get their wiggles out, and to build other meaningful memories (play is learning too!). We visited the zoo (excellent), the McWane Science Center (also excellent), and the Barber Motorcycle Museum and Vintage Festival – because my husband is an inveterate gearhead. I think each of these visits helped to get our son to a place where he could enjoy the museum without necessarily seeing it as “entertainment.”
The Birmingham Civil Rights Institute
Our decision to bring him to the museum was reinforced as soon as we arrived. There were a few other young children in our tour group, all of whom were African American. I think it helped to see other children there as he was able to understand it as an issue for kids his age. The tour itself started with a short film detailing the history of racism in the United States, and in Birmingham in particular. The film was short enough, and interesting enough, that maintaining focus for a 5 year old wasn’t too much of a problem.
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King Jr.
Moving out of the theater, the first thing we encountered were segregated water fountains. Our son approached them and immediately started asking questions. It was clear that this space was designed to work well for children as well as adults.
As we ventured further into the museum, we were presented with several key scenes and stories of the Civil Rights Struggle. We moved from station to station, trying to absorb the stories and meaning at a pace that a 5 year old would find interesting. What this meant is that didn’t get to read everything, we took turns moving slower, and we did get to chose key passages to read aloud.
A particularly poignant moment came when we walked into a corner that discussed the Klan. This display contained several robes, group pictures of the Klan, mixed with crosses. The combination of religious symbols with this violence was particularly difficult to explain to our child, who, of course, quickly asked “What are those?” We paused for a moment, something we’d had some practice with that day, and started talking about bullying. For him, bullying was something they discussed a lot in school and was how he could relate to the actions of racism. Teaching kids about civil rights and racism is not easy, and bullying is not a perfect comparison, but it worked that day.
We were all deeply moved by the experience of the museum, and our son came away with a deep appreciation of the struggle that people have gone, and continue to go, through to be treated with respect and dignity. We left the institute grateful for the opportunity and amazed at our son’s understanding and compassion.
The institute sits across from Ingram Park, and the 16th street Baptist Church. We toured the park with its moving statuary and monuments to the horrible things that happened there and nearby. Images of snarling dogs, water canons, and 4 immortalized young girls in bronze helped us to put real faces on the events of not so long ago.
If you get the chance to visit Birmingham with your kids, I would very much encourage you to visit the Civil Rights Institute and to take your kids along for the co-learning.
Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can’t go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five year old son who is asking: “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”From A Letter from a Birmingham Jail – MLK